Veteran

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

Poet

A backward poet writes inverse.

Cannibals

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Fortune-teller

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Change

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

Grass

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."

Baseball

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Hat Rack

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."

Three months ago

It was exactly three months ago on May 23, 2009 that Elden Grant Hurst passed away. He is still alive in memory and I know he is alive in the spirit world. He is probably very involved in building the kingdom of God. I wonder how involved he is in our lives. We might be very surprised if we knew.

Cults

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

Atheism

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Nudist Camp

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Flies

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Silk Worms

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Obama and Media

After Barack Obama won the election he found out the economy was worse than he thought; so he had to lay off seventeen journalists.

Litter

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Push the envelope

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

(To learn more about where the expression came from, go to this link http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/push-the-envelope.html